


Burn the Past, Make Bricks from the Ashes.

by ebonhighlord



Category: Silent Hill (Video Game Series)
Genre: (alex @ james voice) youre ugly you’re disgusting I’m gonna kill you. Give me 200 dollars, Bogeyman Alex, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Implied Time Loops, Implied/Referenced Suicide, In Water and Judgement Endings, Kinda, Post-Canon Fix-It, this is self indulgent as shit and I will be surprised if I finish it I’m so sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:08:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24976618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ebonhighlord/pseuds/ebonhighlord
Summary: James has accepted his punishment, but the Executioner has different plans for him. There will be no giving up this easily, not when there’s a chance to fix his mistakes.Edit:(Constructive) Feedback is extremely welcome I am Incredibly New to silent hill
Relationships: Mary Shepherd-Sunderland/James Sunderland
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	1. I Hope I Become A Ghost

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Full Circle (and Then Some)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21970492) by [BlueMoonRoses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueMoonRoses/pseuds/BlueMoonRoses). 



> bro I am just. I am just Sitting And Daydreaming about angry alex and an Elle with a sword here.

_I wonder. What was I afraid of? Without you Mary, I’ve got nothing... Now... we can be together._

But as the water begins to cascade through the window into car, he knows that’s not true. It always ends the same way. The letter beckons, James follows. But he never learns, never changes, and so he fails again, and again, and again. 

He deserves this fate. He deserved it since before he came to this place. The moment he ever even considered...

James closed his eyes. There was no point in reflecting on what he already had so many times before, it wouldn’t help him escape, even if he wanted to. 

How many times had he repeated this cycle? How many times had he driven into Toluca- only to remember the futility of his actions, only to forget it all again? He wasn’t even allowed the option of giving up anymore.

James opened his eyes again as he felt the water begin to lap at his collar, turning his head to the still figure secured in the passenger seat.

_Oh Mary...I can only hope you’re not trapped here with me._

Even after the impact into Toluca, her body lay peacefully, face free from the pain that contorted it in life **and from the fear she must have felt when he-**

What felt like lifetimes ago, James would have cringed at his conscience’s harsh reminder but now he only smiled sadly and shifted his hand to lay over one of Mary’s, laid carefully on her lap.

_At least I can see you again, even if for a little while. I’m sorry._

The car started to groan as the last vestiges of air were forced out, and the blonde squeezed his eyes shut once more, raising his head to heave in one last gasp of air as he gripped Mary’s hand.

Lake Toluca swallowed him. He didn’t open his eyes, but knew that even if he did, only the murky silt would await him. It was always a gamble to how long the waters would wait to claim him, take his memories and fill his mind with the same fog that choked Silent Hill. Sometimes he didn’t even have to wait to be drowned, the moment the wheels of his car touched the surface he would be yanked back to the beginning of it all. Sometimes it felt like days, lungs spasming in his chest as he choked silently, sight locked on the distant shimmer of the surface through the windshield.

It seemed this time would be one of the latter, mouth opening up in an unconscious gasp for air that would never come, Toluca rushing in to fill his throat. His free hand clawed at the seat belt, even as he tried to keep a grip on Mary’s with the other. To his horror, it closed into an empty fist and he whipped his head around, hair sliding through the murk, only to see nothing in the seat her body had been laying in moments before.

Ah. Another thing he had forgotten about. Another punishment.

His eyes burned, more from unseen tears than contact with the lake’s waters, and a few pathetic bubbles gurgled from his mouth. Pathetic. He should have known someone like him wouldn’t deserve a second of comfort. This was his punishment after all.

He slumped back against the seat, trembling as his body tried to stay alive even as his mind resigned itself once again to it’s grave. The car shifted against the lake floor , settling further into the silt, metal groaning loudly at the pressure.

James stared ahead into the murk, body finally relenting as black dots closed in on the edges of his vision. Metal shrieked again in unison with the dull roar of blood in his ears. 

He closed his eyes one final time.

_Mary...I’m coming._

One final howl of metal shook his body as something seemed to give around him, echoing through the water and nearly deafening him as he felt himself drift away.

A hand closed around the front of his shirt.


	2. Stranger

Lake Toluca’s surface sat calm, only faint ripples near the shoreline belying that movement ever graced its' waters at all. Thin sheets of mist hovered above the surface, curling like a living animal, occasionally dipping as if to nearly touch the water for a second, before retreating back to safety several inches above.

Reeds by the edge of the water lay soiled and crushed, mud hidden beneath the usually thick stems revealed by violent tire tracks tearing through the overgrowth. In between the tread marks lay the sunken indent of footprints, fresher but only just lighter than the weight of the car in their depth. A massive, jagged blade stood upright just beyond the edge of the reeds, embedded into the earth beside the wrecked path. 

For a few moments even the ripples of the Lake’s soft waves stilled, a held breath in murky silence, before the fog abandoned all its previous caution and swarmed towards the surface, spiraling in a cloud of wisps and ash above a large area just off shore.

The water trembled under the air’s presence, a disturbance underneath the surface upsetting the stillness and throwing up froth crested waves. A brief moment of calm left foam spilling with the current, before the mist suddenly surged up as a metal point violently broke the surface, rusted steel screaming in an almost triumph as a large figure climbed from the lake’s depths into the shallows. Water cascaded off of the rivets and wires of the helmet, dropping back down off the edges of the headpiece like a torrid waterfall. Its' shoulders heaved as it trudged towards the shore, weighed down by the sodden skirt clinging to its legs as well as the equally waterlogged body sagging from one clenched fist. 

Mud squelched unpleasantly as the creature hauled itself onto land, the limp legs of its captive leaving a small trail next to the larger’s prints. Tendrils of fog followed them, curling curiously around the duo as they emerged from the trodden reeds, expanding into a shroud over the earth. The creature let out a echoing sigh as it reached the monolithic knife, pausing next to the blade to finally release its’ burden, the limp body rolling onto his side in the grass. 

They shook themselves again, groaning as they rolled their shoulders under the weight of the helmet, rust running off the shifting metal as the last of the lake dripped off. It stood still for a moment, chest heaving silently as it slowly cocked its head to the side where the sodden figure lay. A few seconds passed until a sigh rolled out from the metal cage and it knelt, pyramid pressing against its chest as it picked up the man from the ground. 

Holding him in front of it by the back of his green jacket, it studied his face for a second, blonde strands of hair plastered against closed eyes and a limp mouth. Another echoing murmur, tinged with annoyance, before the creature turned the man, bracing him against one arm, and firmly slammed its open palm between his shoulder blades. 

<]

James Sunderland reentered consciousness coughing, retching violently as his eyes bugged open. He slammed palms first into the ground, arms folding under him until he nearly slammed his face into the dirt below, barely catching himself on his elbows as he seemed to vomit gallons of murky water onto the grass, tears streaming down to join the flow as his entire body shook with every heave. Several minutes passed until he could finally breathe, mouthfuls of foul lake water eventually yielding to fouler spits of saliva and bile, then dry hacking as his limbs finally gave out underneath him, and he collapsed onto his front, face pressed into sodden grass. 

Static buzzed through his head as he wheezed, alternating between sobbing gulps of air and coughing as his lungs cramped in protest at such strain after the expulsion. 

_What....how did I...the car....how did I get out of the car?_

The last thing he remembered was the car shaking as he blacked out, body helpless as he drowned alone in Toluca.

_The Lake....did it push me out? No...no it couldn’t have..._

He grunted in pain as he tried to push himself up, crying out softly as his arms screamed against the action before falling back against the loam, opting to turn his sore head to the right as far as his aching neck would allow. All he saw was an expanse of trees lining the lake side, reeds whispering with a breeze as the lake lapped quietly at the shore several yards away. At the edge of his vision, he could see the trampled edges of his suicidal path into the waters.

Coughing again, he closed his eyes, panting softly in unison with the low groan of the nearby woods, hands digging into the dirt as he remembered the crushing weight of suffocating beneath the waves. He tried to ignore how his breaths turned lightly into sobs and he curled into himself

The moaning grew louder as his weeping continued, and James spared a look up from his fetal position, half expecting to see the trees bent over from the wind that must be causing them to sing so loudly, before a spike of ice shot down his spine.

There wasn’t a single leaf stirring on their branches, and his soaked clothing would have felt the breeze even if it had been a light gust. It wasn’t the wind making the sound.

A part of James’ mind screamed at him as he held very still, listening to the moan as it carried on, tones echoing hollowly as if bouncing off the metal walls of a cell. He rolled slowly, every shift of a muscle feeling like a death sentence as turned onto his other side, bloodshot eyes rolling to see a nightmare he thought dead thousands of times.

A pyramid headed figure sat on its heels beside him, looming taller than any of the red demons that haunted him through Silent Hill, muscular arms stained black with some ichor folded almost politely on its leather bound lap as the blackened metal of the helmet tilted to meet his horrified stare.

The melodious moaning cut off into an exasperated huff as it seemed to return his gaze.

James felt the weight of Judgement upon him as it began to stand, unfolding into a shadowy pillar above his prone form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just fucking shatter his spine bro it’ll be alright he can walk it off.

**Author's Note:**

> elle and Alex gay and trans i dont make the rules sorry. Elle prob won’t show up till later tho I’m sorry :pensive:


End file.
